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The Secret of Notre Dame (Chapter Two)

March 8, 2011

Chapter One

Boom! Boom! Boom! The clock struck midnight. The sky was jet black, with the moon eerily peeking out from behind the clouds. My heart banged against my ribs. Where was I? A shiver ran down my spine. Maybe it was the wind, I contemplated, I mustn’t worry so. I stepped out from the darkness. The ground crunched below me and the frosty air felt like it was nibbling against me. In front of me was a colossal building, the white paint peeling. Moss grew wildly out of the cracks, covering nearly all of the building. Go in!, a voice softly whispered. What was in there? Maybe it could be treasure or… My trail of thought faded away.I must go in there, I told myself, what is the harm of going in a building? I opened the door and sneaked inside. I looked around. There was nothing there; only four grey walls and a grey floor. Suddenly, the door slammed shut. Click… Click… Click… Click… The sound of footsteps echoed through the room.

“Hello?” I whispered, my legs shivering. “Who’s there?”

There was silence. I need to get out! I fled towards the door. Clutching the handle, I pulled with all my might. The door didn’t move… I was trapped! My stomach twisted into a knot and I felt my palms sweating. Where should I go? The door was locked but there were stairs… I had an idea! I rushed towards the stairs, the floor scratching against my bare feet. After I ran up the stairs, I came across a platform surrounded with a thin, wire rail. I looked over the rail; there was a thick mess of emerald green trees and a fog surrounded the forest like a cold blanket.

Suddenly, I heard a noise. Click! Click! Click! Click! I wasn’t alone! Almost immediately, a hand gripped my shoulder. My body froze and I could hardly move a muscle. Hesitantly, I twisted around and a strange thing met my eyes. Something that looked like a man towered over me, his gnarled fingers still placed on my shoulder. He wasn’t solid; his body was wispy and looked like black smoke. Panic rushed through my body. Where could I go? The door was locked and I could hardly jump out of a tall tower. I ran to the stairs and fled to the door.

“Help!” I shrieked, my voice hoarse. “Help me!”

I pulled the door as hard as I could but it didn’t move. I heard footsteps again; this time loud and clear. The footsteps were getting louder and louder… Closer and closer… I pulled with all my might and the door swung open. I fled into the darkness, leaving the tower far behind. My legs were wobbly and I felt dizzy, but I ran on and on, for what seemed like hours. The trees in the forest surrounded me. There was nowhere I could go. Thud! I felt the ground collapse underneath me. My legs ached and my arms felt numb. My eyes blinked. Where was I? The ground squelched as I pulled myself up. The light of the moon lit up the hole through a narrow crack near a wall nearby. A fire danced in the corner as vibrant colours of red, yellow and orange exploded. Two armchairs were placed either side of a circular red rug. In those chairs were two creatures, though they were human sized! The room started spinning and blurred into one another. My legs collapsed beneath me. Everything went black.

Chapter Two

I opened my eyes. Was I dreaming? The transparent, daffodil yellow curtains let the sun rays flood into the room and, despite it being too bright, I was glad. That dream spooked me, it seemed so vivid. The scent of crispy toast filled my nose and I could almost taste it. My checked red and white quilt felt heavy against my body, yet it provided me with safety. Yes, I thought to myself, I was back home, where I belong. A dozen thoughts filled my mind. Even though it was just a dream, it seemed like I was actually there… The floorboards creaked as I eventually threw myself out of bed. As I strolled towards the bottom of the stairs, a strange thing happened. Thud! Thud! Shoes creaked on the floor. I saw a woman and, though I had never saw her before, she seemed to know me. Curly hair as white as the snow framed her oval face and deep wrinkles covered her face. Beady, emerald eyes stared bloodshot at me and her nostrils were flared in disgust. A fur coat swept over her shoulders and she struggled to walk in enormous high heels. The scent of toast was replaced by a heavy smell of strawberry perfume. I felt myself cowering in the sight of her.

“What are you looking at?” she sneered, saliva spitting out from in between her crooked teeth. “Get ready, today is a very important day today.”

“Who are you?” I asked, in spite of myself. As she replied, I thought I saw a forked tongue slivering in her mouth. I rubbed my eyes. It must’ve been a figment of my imagination…

A few hours later, we arrived at a peculiar place. The woman, who claimed to be my Auntie Irene, was strange to say the least. Apparently, my mother, Rosemary, was Irene’s sister, yet Irene looked nearly 70 years old… The sky was grey and seemed to rumble in anticipation. A wrought iron gate loomed over us, casting a dark shadow over our faces. As I saw the words engraved on the top, I remembered. I remembered that awful night nearly 10 years ago… I remembered smoke rising… I remembered screams… Yet Irene was nowhere to be found in my memories. The words said: “Cemetery”. All of a sudden, there was silence; birds stopped chirping and bees stopped buzzing busily. My heart dropped like a stone and my hands shivered. Stone graves, easily hundreds of them, were neatly arranged into rows, each with names on them and dates. Suddenly, Irene grabbed my wrist and pulled. Her grip was so tight I couldn’t free myself. She pulled me around the graves, her beady eyes examining every name. Almost immediately, Irene stopped at a crumbly, tiny grave with two names; Thomas and Ophelia. I remembered those names… Were they my parents? I could almost feel my heart break. I turned sideways to see if Irene was still there; she was. She was staring at me, her eyes glowing red and her teeth incredibly sharp. Rain poured down, showering Irene and I with water.

“You shouldn’t be here!” she hissed, a forked tongue slivering inside her mouth. Suddenly, she sprouted fur and her nose squashed into a snout. It roared, baring tusks from the side of its face. I ran. BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! My heart pounded against my chest. I needed to get away… Away from the monster… I tripped over something, my arms shielding my fall. I was doomed, the monster was sure to get me… The monster’s footsteps were getting closer and closer… I could hear them getting louder and louder. A glint of gold sparkled in the corner of my eye. I grabbed it; it was a golden watch, with a small button on the top. Holding my breath, I pressed the button. I waited for the monster to strike, pressing my eyes together, not bearing to watch. Nothing happened; I stayed waiting on the ground. I opened my eyes and looked around. The sky was no longer grey, but a crystal clear blue. I wasn’t in a cemetery. I don’t think I was even on Earth any more.

11 Comments leave one →
  1. sue partington permalink
    March 17, 2011 3:45 pm

    well done chloe , this is fantastic , this is adult standard , keep it up sweetie you will go far in life xx

  2. March 15, 2011 10:48 am

    Wow, i’m amazed at the words you used, it’s like you were speaking to me and I was there my eyes wouldn’t leave the page.When did you find the time to write that eventhough I only had time to read the first chapter I wanted to read on.For your career choice you should pick to writer your wrighting is so inspirational!

  3. usman azeez permalink
    March 15, 2011 10:43 am

    i relly liked the way you created suspense at the end by the heavy footsteps of the monster

  4. March 15, 2011 10:40 am

    I loved every single opening , it was like I was there. The powerful words were extrodinary exotic. Where did you get your inspiration? And how did you take the time to write such a magnificent story, all the way through the story I had goose bumps along my arm. Did you get any presents or surprises when you showed your parents and friends?

  5. Anonymous permalink
    March 15, 2011 10:38 am

    This is really good! where did you learn to write so good?

  6. March 15, 2011 10:37 am

    Where did you learn to write like that? You are fantastic. The words you use were so powerful it gave me goose bumps.

  7. March 15, 2011 10:33 am

    I really like The Secret of Notre Dame (Chapter Two) because it uses lots of powerful words and is really set out nicely so therefore it is very clear and easy to read.

  8. Mrs Duxbury permalink
    March 13, 2011 10:30 am

    Goodness me, I started to scan this to try and read it quickly but I soon changed my mind. This piece of writing was so powerful, so exciting, filled with such great tension, I found myself completely absorbed into the story. I read it twice just to make sure I had not missed any of it – which was simply stunning! You have included so many great features of great writing, your teacher must be so proud (as you certainly should be) ! I loved it and I hope you continue the chapters, making this a great story for many readers around the word to enjoy.
    Thank you
    Mrs Duxbury (High Lawn Primary)

  9. Mrs Nelson (@thedippyhippy) permalink
    March 8, 2011 11:07 pm

    A wonderful piece of writing – very well done! You conveyed the fear your character felt brilliantly. I really enjoyed your story. Thanks for sharing it!

  10. March 8, 2011 10:58 pm

    Your writing is fantastic! I’m so glad I had the opportunity to read it. Our Y6 class is just starting to blog their writing and I will recommend that they read your work for inspiration. Congratulations and keep on writing – this reader is eager for more!

  11. thedeansmrharris permalink*
    March 8, 2011 10:24 pm

    Wow Chloe – I don’t know where you get your ideas from! The descriptions in the story are fantastic. I wonder what happened to the monster? Where are they now??

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